Friday, January 29, 2010

for my friend

I've had such a heavy heart for my friend since last week. Wanting to say something while not having a single word that could possibly make her hurt ease up. She was due to have a little one just after ours is due, but her sweet baby slipped away and, in the words of my friend's mom on facebook, their little heartbeat went to Heaven. Know that I've been praying for you, my friend. This song makes me think of you and makes me so very grateful for the "sweeter song that calls" us Home.

You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews

I searched for love
When the night came and it closed in
I was alone
but you found me where I was hiding
and now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

You cry yourself to sleep
cause the hurt is real
and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost
With heartache your closest friend
and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own
but there is a sweeter song that calls you home

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every tear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest nights
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All your life

Faithful and true... Forever
For my love will carry you....

You're not alone
for I... I am here
let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through your darkest night
Your darkest night
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Jeremiah 31:14

says "My people will be satisfied with My goodness, says the Lord." {Amplified}

This scripture was brought to my attention recently by my friend, Jon, who makes a habit of regularly pointing out Words that I come to love. There's a long, long list of favorite scriptures. Sometimes I have no idea where to stop underlining in my Bible. Oh, yes, I'm an underlining girl.

I love this one for several reasons. First of all, it seems to me to be a promise. I love clinging to God's promises. There are many. Of course, life will be easy is not one of them. Neither is you'll always get your way. Neither is our happiness, but joy on the other hand, His joy is promised to be our strength {Nehemiah 8:10}. It's a bit like being little again, waiting for that really great thing that you actually can't wait for, but have to. I've learned that some, and perhaps many, of God's promises will be fulfilled when we are with Him. And talk about a promise! With Him. I really can't wait for that one. Back to this one, it seems like assurance to me. I know this is hard, My daughter, but you will be satisfied with My goodness. You will. Maybe not today or tomorrow. It may take a while, but it will happen. You will see that I have done great things!

During the past four years I have learned many things the hard way: God's ways are not my ways. I won't always know why. Life is hard, and we must hold on to Him if we expect to make it through. He gives and takes away. You will have to hear certain things you hope to never hear like it's malignant, it's serious, it's bad, it's not enough, it's back, it's over. And sometimes you have to say things you don't want to say like goodbye, he's gone, she died, I can't, I won't, I'll never make it, how can I.

But there are so many Truths to cling to:
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. {Colossians 1:17}

Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. {Nehemiah 8:10}

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. {Psalm 30:11}

For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth. {Psalm 33:4-5}

The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. From his throne he observes
all who live on the earth. He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. {Psalm 33:13-15}

We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. {Psalm 33:20-21}

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms.
Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death. {Psalm 68:19-20}

Can you tell I've been loving Psalm 33 lately? Look at that last one again: for each day He carries us in His arms. I'm so blown away by that. And so grateful to be His girl.

You may wonder if there is a point to all this. There is, and I'm getting there. Sit tight a little bit more. All who believe will receive of God's goodness, and ultimately will be satisfied. I'm sure He, like any parent, would love for us to "quit whining and be grateful" {as my kids often hear} sooner rather than later. I'm trying for Him. I have many days when I fail, but I usually just have a big talk with Him in those times. I like to get it all out. A couple of things I've received are just such obvious gifts, and both after deep loss.

Almost four years ago, I said good bye to my dad. I miss him every single day. Just about three years ago, God gave us Ella. Last year was a very hard year for us financially, while adjusting to homeschooling, and my aunt went Home to be with my dad. The day after her funeral, God answered a question we'd had. We felt Him putting a certain desire on our hearts for several months. It made no sense. It honestly seemed crazy with the year we were having. But it became stronger still, and we knew He wanted us to trust Him. So... He lifted us up in due time {1 Peter 5:6}... and is giving us something after taking away...

and I am filled...

with a good thing He has given us...

"...and My people will be filled with the good things I give them!" says the Lord. {Jeremiah 31:14 New Century Version}