Thursday, May 27, 2010

88 more days?!!

week 27 cauliflower size
So, my pregnancy ticker over there says 88 days left before our due date. That's not very long, is it? Now, I think of the long, hot days of summer that lie ahead of me. My three {precious!} children, who have no tolerance of my lack of energy and general slowness these days, are wanting to be on the go. Every day. Yikes. That seems like a long summer, but then I think in 88 days {or likely less} our new little will arrive. And that is both exciting and a little terrifying. Four. Children. Wow. But I'm claiming this promise for the summer and for adding our new baby to our home: "Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated... because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." {Deuteronomy 31:6} What would I do without Him?

Oh, and the other day I had my first "Oh, you are about to pop any day aren't you?" comment. I'm so happy to play the part of sidewalk entertainment for passersby. Nice.

Monday, May 24, 2010

remembering and knowing

I have a memory of a night many years ago when I was a little girl. I was sleeping peacefully in my sort of tall bed when suddenly I woke up screaming. Loud, terrified screaming. I woke up somehow clinging with one arm and one leg on my bed and the other arm and leg trying to keep hold on the wall. I was about to fall into that deep, dark space between the bed and the wall. I was holding on as best as I could, but was quickly losing grasp. And then he came to save me. My dad quickly came to my rescue, scooping me up out of my fear, and making things right again. I was so relieved when he came through my door, knowing I could almost let go.

There's nothing quite like strong, safe arms when things get scary. Like that night long ago, or like one of my husband's wonderful hugs when I am overwhelmed, afraid, anxious or sad. Back then with my dad and now with my husband, if I let myself let go, my fears and concerns can melt away, even if just for a time. It is the same, and much more so with God. I know He must long to be our comfort and promises to care for us like no one else can. And although I miss Dad's strong hugs, and love my husband's hugs {because let's face it, someone with skin can be easier to receive comfort from than a spirit} I am striving to receive what only God can provide. I want that. That's where true peace is found. And I need it.

I've been thinking on this scripture that came to me last week in a daily devotional:

"The beloved of the Lord shall a]">dwell in safety by Him; He covers him all the day long, and makes His dwelling between his shoulders." Deuteronomy 33:12

If I am willing, I will feel Him cover me "all the day long." How very amazing is that? And I am striving for an Abraham-like faith as seen in these verses that I love:

"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." Romans 4:20-21

I am claiming these verses in this season, when I am feeling sad and overwhelmed. Sad because one of my best friends is moving ({very} far away. This week. We've known since January and I guess I tried to put off the realization of it. Now it's here. It's happening. And I am so sad. But grateful that God promises to turn sorrow into joy {Jeremiah 31:13}. At this point, I'm not sure how He will do this, but I am "fully persuaded" that He will. I'm overwhelmed because in three months I'll have four babies. I know without a doubt that God called us to have this baby. He has confirmed His timing already in more ways than one. But as the time approaches I wonder just how I will manage all of my little ones. But again, I am "fully persuaded" that He will be sufficient for me during the transition and forever.

So, I will remember that night, when my dad came to my rescue. And I'll get lots of hugs from my man. And I'll look for all the times when my Father will "cover me all the day long." And I'll have a knowing that, no matter what, I will make it through whatever life brings. I may just need a little reminding...