Sunday, January 30, 2011

One Thousand Gifts

I'm going to go ahead and be honest. Is that ok? Because although I love my family with the fierce and tender love of a momma bear, I've recently found myself wanting. Wanting what? Well, more of this {time to rest, be alone, be with my husband, be with God, do a detailed bible study, exercise, time to sit, quiet, time to be "just mom"} and less of that {bickering children, schooling challenges, laundry, dishes, more laundry, more on the to-do list, "mom/school teacher"}.

And boy, have I wandered. You know, in the "prone to wander, Lord I feel it" kind of way. He's always there. Waiting. For me. And I'm busy wandering and fussing and trying and striving. All the striving, to try and fix what I perceive to be broken or try to better what I see that is lacking or try to plan for any day that is not today. To try to control. All the while, this wandering, striving, bettering, planning, is of no help to anyone. It only frustrates and widens the gap between Him and me. Make no mistake, He has stayed put, even drawn near, but I have been too busy wandering. And wondering, even - You called me to this? This? And you thought I could handle it?

I know that life is hard. God doesn't promise an easy life, but he does promise to never leave us. I know that much of what He calls us to is hard. But my struggle lately has been finding joy anyway, even though it's hard and seemingly endless, I want to find joy. His joy. Because it is His joy makes me strong. {Nehemiah 8:10}

So, I stumbled across this book. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. And I've started it and can't put it down. Such beautiful language. Such soul-stirring truth. And I wanted to share it, because I think it's going to be that good. The kind of good you want to share. The bloom book club at (in)courage will be posting weekly videos with the author starting February 6th. I've added the bloom button on my side-bar.

A favorite line so far: "God is in the details; God is in the moment. God is in all that blurs by in a life - even hurts in a life." {p.54} How can it be that I learn this the hard way, by grieving a loss, mourning over dad, but still need reminders? To repeat the lesson? I guess because I'm human. Flawed. Fallen. But grateful for the chance to learn again. And hopefully, just grateful.

Friday, January 21, 2011

and this is love


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Christmas girls


so I couldn't get it together enough to do a timely after Christmas post. {what do I do with all of that spare time of mine?} just had to share this one at least. my sweet girls on Christmas morning. get a load of ella's {very} lovely plate ornament she made at church. I tried to convince her it wasn't an ornament, but a door hanger. she was sure it needed to be on the tree, so you see where it ended up. what can I say? sometimes she wins.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

milla jean at 5 months


she's been getting so much {cute} use out of this hat lately, well, I just had to take a picture of her in it. It's been so cold around here lately... the hat has almost become a part of her little head!





my sweet baby lady turned five months on the 14th. Last week at an ear re-check she weighed 16 pounds, 8 ounces. The girl loves to eat, and apparently it's not half and half but heavy. we started her on rice cereal a couple weeks ago and she tolerates it most of the time and really enjoys it the rest of the time. I keep promising that soon she'll taste yummy flavors like sweet potatoes and applesauce. {that reminds me I need to get to the store...}

she has rolled over from tummy to back a couple of times, totally by accident, so she hasn't learned how to do it of her own will. if she could figure out how to get that arm out from under her, she'd be rolling from back to tummy. maybe when she's calling the shots she won't hate tummy time anymore. she's also been practicing the different shapes her mouth can take {in the form of toothless old lady smacking} and has thoroughly enjoyed the discovery of her feet.

over the last couple of weeks she has slept better {most} nights. I can expect to feed her sometime between 4 and 6 after which we'll cuddle and go back to sleep. she's a toasty little morning bed buddy!

she is totally smitten with her brothers and sister. I mean head over heels for them. it's so sweet. and {as usual}, it's going too fast, but I'm enjoying her too much to be {too} sad about it!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A (brief) moment of quiet

So here I am. Waiting. It's quiet for now. Gloriously quiet. Jonathan is at a meeting. Miles and Ella are at preschool. Milla is (actually) napping. Elijah is taking a (bathroom) break from school. So here I am, alone for a few moments of quiet. I could sip it up slowly like a delicious hot chocolate. Linger over it. Savor it. But here he comes...

It's over now. Just like that. Now on to math... word problems for multiplying by two.

In these days where I long for quiet. For time for myself. I remind myself that one day it will be mine, in a home that once held loud and gregarious little ones. I know I will miss them terribly... so while I wait for that, I pray that I will savor this season. With all my chicks under my feathers. I know one day they will all fly away... BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

How did I forget this?

I am so happy I came across this picture when going back through our year in photos. I had forgotten about it, but now that I've found it again, I'm not sure how I forgot it... talk about cute. This. Is. It.


We were heading back to the car after a fun-filled {big rig horn-honking filled} afternoon at a touch-a-truck event nearby. These "princess" dresses stopped Ella in her tracks. She just stopped and stared. Fortunately my sweet friend Dione told me to take a picture... I almost missed capturing the moment. {Maybe because I was worried about where our combination of four boys had made it off to!or because it was hot and I was pregnant. Your pick!}

To top off my {re}finding this presh picture, I came across a handy tutorial for how to blog with bigger pictures. The timing was perfect, I'd say. You can look forward to more {bigger!} cute pictures from now on. Aren't you so lucky? ;)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2010 {in review}

I am thrilled to be taking part in the Living Proof Ministries' scripture memory challenge again in 2011. My friend Allison and I did it in 2009 {and had a fun trip to Houston to celebrate with our other friends Beth{Moore} and Travis{Cottrell} almost a year ago}, and it meant so much to us. Living Proof took a break last year, but are doing it again - how could we not join in? It's simple, really, to memorize scripture, but without the accountability of posting them twice monthly on the Living Proof blog, well, honestly, I'd fall off the memory verse wagon.

In considering this new year, I wasn't sure what scripture to begin with. I felt all scatter-brained. My hopes for this year are high. My concerns are big. I was all over the place in my head. But, Beth spoke right to me {well, actually God did} by posting this verse the other day:

I love it so, and decided to claim it, pray it, and memorize it and my first verse of the challenge. And it never fails. I've been through some really hard stuff. Really hard. But even then, His love is abundant. So, there it is, written in my squeaky clean, brand new spiral. That spiral and I will go through much together this year. It will get rough edges and may have torn pages. It's cover will become worn. It may be spilled upon. In the same way I will surely have some hard pathways this year. I may become worn, tired. I will likely make a mess of things from time to time. But what will matter at the end of this year, is what was written inside this spiral, and consequently, written on my heart. Thanks be to God.

Dear 2010,

Wow. You were big. And wonderful. And a little painful. We had amazing gain {sweet Milla Jean born in August} after wandering terribly close to horrific loss {Mom's very serious illness in July}. You pushed, pulled and stretched me. You were a year of climbing up out of 2009's scary finances... of being grateful to the One who never forsakes us... who uses every situation to His glory. Scary finances. Near loss. Amazing gain.

You had me asking for specific deliverance. And in your time, He delivered. Even wonderful changes can be hard though, and that's where I found myself very challenged. Sometimes frustrated. Often confused. But always trusting.

I'm sentimental over you, and will be, as you are the year of our {last} baby's birth. But I am excited to see what this new year will bring. I've got questions... and I'm praying. There are a few things that I'm just not sure what will become of. But He's sure. And that is all that matters, if I choose to trust Him with it all, every day.