Sunday, May 10, 2009

For the Legacy wall at church...

I remember well how she would wake me up in the mornings. She would sing “Beautiful Dreamer” but because she didn’t know all the words, they were different every day. There was also an original song about how much she loved me that ended with “bunches and bunches, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.” Now I often tell my own little ones that I love them bunches and bunches, forever and ever. She is my mom and one of my very favorite people and one of my very best friends. The legacy that I remember her beginning to build while I was a girl is one of love: simple, unconditional, never ending, always growing, like I hung the moon love. As a mother myself now, I finally understand that kind of huge, consuming love.

I remember Mom sitting across from me at lunch the very first day we heard the words “pancreatic cancer” as they related to my dad. I remember her saying “How will I ever make it without him. What will I do?” And I honestly didn’t know at the time. He’d always been there. But, now three years later, she’s doing it. She’s making it. Is it easy? Not at all. She misses Dad every single day, but she accepts God’s new mercies. She lets His joy be her strength. And though she may not realize it, she’s teaching me to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:3

One day when she has gone Home, I’ll remember her laugh, her voice, the way she called me her “pookie-girl.” The way she spoiled me even as a grown woman. The way she would always listen. Always. How she was always there. How she supported me no matter what. How she thought I was a good mother. That she thought I had valuable ideas. I’ll remember the songs she sang when I was a girl. I’ll miss her greatly, but I will endure, because that's the legacy she will leave behind one day. One of enduring with God’s joy as my strength. I am so very blessed.