we're leaving...

and the kids will stay behind. Thanks so much to our wonderful moms for sharing the care of our littles. Our tenth anniversary is coming up in June and since I was pregnant with Ella we've been planning on an anniversary trip. We've decided to go to Highlands, North Carolina where we can do as much or as little as we want to. For a trip where we are responsible for no one but each other. We can't wait as the last vacation we took alone was for our second anniversary. A long. long. time ago. So, I won't be blogging for several days because I'll be here...with my husband.

another new dress

I saw a similar dress on another blog and decided to try a make one for little boo. I love to sew because I can actually see a project to completion; a project that won't be undone only to try to finish it again tomorrow like with housework or baby raising...

She works with her hands in delight. Proverbs 31:13

he is a promise

The boys' preschool held their spring program and graduation ceremony today. Here are Elijah and his sweet little Isabelle after they received their diplomas. We are so happy that these two will both attend Bear School in the fall. They are the best of friends...Elijah has told me they are going to get married and drive a red minivan.

The boys with their self portraits...Elijah is right on with his hair, but what's with his left foot? They have had the kids do these paintings at the end of each year for a few years now, and I LOVE them.

One of the songs the children sang is called I am a Promise and is such a precious song. I've included the lyrics in this post because they really touched me today. As I sat, camera ready, waiting for Elijah's name to be called for him to get his diploma, I was filled with emotion. I am so very proud of this little man. He has such a zest for life and a fun spirit about him, which can sometimes pose a problem in the classroom. At the start of this school year I was intimidated by the expectations set out before us. My fear was really driven by the preschool director who wanted to keep Elijah back with the younger kids because he might be a "distraction to others." I finally decided to push for him to be with the older 5s because by age that's where he belonged, but also because Jonathan and I believed that he could, and would, rise to meet the challenges before him. She agreed to "give it a try" and now he has completed the year as one of the best readers of the group. He has grown so much this year, all the while holding on to that wide open way about him. And although I've always known it, God really spoke to me through this song today, to tell me that Elijah is a promise.

I am a promise
I am a possibility
I am a promise with a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learnin' to hear God's voice
And I am tryin' to make the right choice
I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

I can go anywhere that He wants me to go
I can be anything He wants me to be
I can climb the high mountains
I can cross the wide sea
I'm a great big promise you see!

I am a promise
I am a possibility
I am a promise with a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learnin' to hear God's voice
And I am tryin' to make the right choice
I'm a promise to be anything God wants me to be
Anything God wants me to be!
first day of preschool on 9.20.2004

today
he is a promise

yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Romans 4:20-21

girls' day

I had our niece Madeline with us today, so while the boys were in school we had a good little girls' only time. The boys miss her already - Elijah asked "what am I supposed to do without Madeline?"

pig tails

They didn't last long because she pulled them out, but they were our first ever pig tails and were cute while they lasted.

missing the jeans, the plaid shirt and all the thinking

during our lunch break today

I have really missed my dad today. I miss him every day, but some days are worse, or more painful, than others. I think on the whole I am at a point where I'm finally getting better - a mostly upward swinging curve, with some steps backward or sharp downturns every now and then. Mom and I talked recently and she helped me realize that maybe passing the two year mark has helped. It's almost like I can finally breathe a little easier. I don't feel like the grief will suffocate me now. For a long time it only got harder and harder, after all the longer he's gone the more I know he's gone. But I finally feel like time is helping, not that I want to encourage the use of any cliches; time is helping, not healing all.

Today, though, was one of the steps backward. See, a few years ago I had it all planned. We'd have Miles, move to Nashville to await Jonathan's friend's return so they could start an architecture firm, our parents would come visit us in our little 1950s ranch and my dad would help Jonathan put together a swing set in the backyard. As it turns out, we had Miles and then Dad became sick...

Today Jonathan started building a swing set out back. He missed my dad today, too. Not for the help he would've been necessarily, but for the experience of being and building with him. Although, it would've gone very slowly. Dad was a brilliant engineer and had to do things perfectly, pensively. He liked to get started and then think through things. Jonathan likes to think through things and then get started. It was always interesting to have an engineer and an architect collaborate, but this would've been the best. Jonathan designed this play set himself (including a cantilevered section) so it will be aesthetically pleasing and is (of course) well designed. My dad would have made sure it was also perfectly engineered...so I missed him today. The jeans, the plaid shirt and all the thinking.

ella checking out her dad's progress

a rough morning

Ella had tubes put in her ears early this morning. Her doctor told me he'd take the blame for about 30 minutes of crankiness post surgery. I'm blaming him for about 5 hours of pitifulness. She did not fall asleep on the way home like he expected her to. She did not take a good nap this morning, but instead alternated between light, restless sleep and inconsolable crying. I finally got a little juice in her around noon, when this picture was taken. We had 30 pretty good minutes before the crying started up again. Thankfully, she had a good afternoon nap and was feeling great tonight. So great that she really enjoyed repeatedly trying to put her toy lipstick tube up her nose. How's that for feminine? I'm very thankful that today is behind us...

friends

At the zoo with my brothers and our friends Ian and Lily. Thanks to Miss Anita making Momma feel guilty, I was released from my stroller.

This one was taken after a very large bird came swooping too close to the boys. Miles and Ian stayed put, while Elijah ran to us in terror. His face was like this for a while. We aren't sure if it was a stork or a peacock. It was funny to the moms in the crowd.

This was taken after he defaced zoo property by breaking a large bamboo shoot.

These two look like trouble.

We also played in Ian and Lily's clubhouse recently.

Muvr's Day

Elijah has been asking all week if it is Mother's Day yet. He was so excited to give me the gift he made at school; so excited that he couldn't keep it in and told me a few days ago what it was. He was very proud yesterday when he gave me a kitchen towel with a flower made from his hand print on it. I'm a huge sucker for anything with my babies' hand prints - I just love them.

Thursday while I was vacuuming, Elijah brought me a card he had made for me:
It was just what I needed at that moment. Very sweet. I love the way he sounded it out and just didn't have the heart to correct it.

And this is his most recent self portrait. Check out that hair. And notice the red - it is his favorite color for those of you who haven't heard several times already.
In an interview conducted at school this is what Elijah reported about me (he filled in blanks):
My mom is 30 years old.
My mom weighs 41 pounds.
My mom's favorite color is pink and purple.
My mom's favorite food is meatballs.
My mom likes to take care of me.
My mom does not like for me to hit.
I like it when my mom plays with me.
I like to wash dishes with my mom.

My mom is silly.

When I told him my true weight he said, "wow, that's a lot." But he was happy to learn that he weighs about what he thought I weigh.

I will enjoy celebrating my own motherhood tomorrow along with celebrating my Mom and Linda (my mom-in-law). We'll all be eating together at a yummy Asian restaurant. I have a necklace and pink stone pendant Dad gave me on my second mother's day. I wear it on special days, or any time I just need to feel like he is very near. I will wear it tomorrow...

HAPBE MUVR'S DAY to all of you, my wonderful friends in motherhood...

"when I turn 6...

I want to have my birthday at the lake and be baptized for my sins" is what Elijah said after witnessing this. Sweet Crispin usually goes to second service at our church, but wanted to be baptized during first service so his younger friends could be part of it. We talked to Elijah a little bit before hand to prepare him. He said he believes that Jesus is the Son of God, too, almost in a "what are we waiting for" kind of way. We told him we thought he needed to be a bit older, like Crispin, so I guess he thinks 6 is a bit older enough.

last preschool field trip

Last week Elijah's class had their last field trip together. Several of us moms went as I guess we are getting a little sentimental as their preschool days come to an end. We went to the zoo and had a good time, except Elijah did a good bit of complaining finally deciding that "this has been the worst week ever." He was hungry. He was thirsty. He did not get to sit by Emma on the train. He didn't see a joey. If that's his worst week ever, he's going to have a great life!


They let their butterflies go while we were there. They had watched them change from caterpillars. These two were a little reluctant.


I just thought this little guy was too cute. We are usually so tired by this point at the zoo that we don't stop to look. I was glad to catch a glimpse of her babies.

for Uncle Kevin...

when I saw this picture, I just thought it would pull at your heart strings...

for Aunt Katie...

because I know you will love this fabric - and the little one wearing it, of course.

after a nap...