We had a very fun Christmas. Since then, Ella has been cooking in her new kitchen, with the occasional guest chef in Miles. Elijah has been trying to learn how to keep Mario alive. Miles has been enjoying his firehouse and firetruck and was wearing his John Deere work gloves everywhere until he lost them as punishment for some heinous act of disobedience. What was that again? Oh, I don't know. He can have them back when we find them in this very disorderly house. I need to work on that. The house, that is. Tomorrow. I'll work on that tomorrow. New year. New cleaning philosophy. Maybe? Check back on that one...
Anyway, our Christmas was wonderful - we are so blessed with our families, our children, our church, our home - but most blessed with our Jesus. He has so been tugging at my heart, along with the Father. My Father. I've felt this for a few months and I figured it out talking to my brother recently. After all these months without my dad here with me, I have gotten to a place with God where he is my dad. Holy, yes. Sovereign, yes. Righteous. Just. Merciful. Loving. Forgiving. Patient. Waiting. Hopeful. Father in Heaven. And he's my dad. It's what I've been told time and time and time again, but I didn't understand it. Until now. I'm not saying I've made it somewhere, as I think it is just a beginning, or accomplished this myself because it's God working here, not me. This is one of the ways he has turned my sadness into joy and given me reason to rejoice. I have two dads cheering me on. Two dads giving me hope. Two dads waiting for me - one I will see again and one I will see for the first time. Two dads.
Ella has been talking about Poppa so much lately. Today I had her in the drs office (sinus infection) and out of the blue she said "Poppa!" while looking in front of us. Then she said "Oh Poppa where go?" I don't know what to make of it, but something or nothing I am loving it.
And if this post isn't syrupy enough, let me share what Elijah told me last week:
"Momma, sometimes I just stop and look at you because you are so pretty. You are the prettiest woman I've ever seen."Never mind that when I asked him when he stops to look at me he said, "I haven't yet." Hey, at least he plans to stop and look at me, right?