Tuesday, August 3, 2010

He is before all things...

and in Him all things hold together. {Colossians 1:17}

I love how God reminds me that His Word is living and active and real. Sometimes I'd prefer Him reveal this to me in an easier way than He did this time, but I'm grateful for His love in all circumstances - it never fails.

For quite a while now, my aunt has been planning a six week vacation to be with Mom. She moved to be with her son and his family in Texas just after the New Year. The first weekend she was here was my last weekend for allowed travel, so we headed to Nashville with my sister-in-law. Mom has wanted to go to Carnton Plantation in Franklin for a long time, so that was first on our list of things to do. {The picture above shows the four of us there.} Of course, we enjoyed delicious meals and some fun shopping, although I couldn't tolerate much walking. It was a wonderful girls weekend away.

Mom had been battling a cold for a few weeks at that point, and even though I tried to get her to see her doctor before we left, she wanted to wait it out. Hmmmm... where oh where do I get my stubborn from? She made it through the weekend pretty well, feeling better some times than others, and when we got home she made an appointment for that Thursday to see her doctor. I saw Mom and Moni on Tuesday and I could tell she was feeling a bit worse, but was relieved that she had a pending appointment.

I did not see them on Wednesday. The little ones had Kids Blast Wee at church that morning, and then I came home to try and force some nesting or sewing or something. At 8:30 or so that evening Moni called me, and trying very hard not to alarm me, calmly said that Mom had been in bed most of the day and that now she was acting disoriented, would not wake for long, was answering questions strangely and had been blue around the mouth. Calm I did not remain. I was in full blown panic mode. I left immediately as my sweet husband threw snacks and a drink in my purse. I called my brother, who unfortunately was on business in Virginia that week. Before I was on the interstate {which didn't take long!}, I was on the phone with 911. They beat me to Mom's house. I can't even describe how she looked. I was terrified. They worked on her for a while and then took her to the ER. Somehow, God held me together in those moments.

At 3 am they moved her to the ICU due to very low blood pressure, telling us she likely had a bladder infection. Moni and I went home for a little sleep and returned at 10 am for the first visitor's time. She was awake and able to speak with us, and I had a definitely false sense of security. We saw her again at noon, and decided to rest during the 2 pm visit. So, there I am trying desperately to fall asleep, when Mom's nurse calls to let me speak to the doctor. She tells me that Mom does not have a bladder infection, but that she has sepsis. I had only heard of people dying with sepsis, not surviving. Somehow, I did not lose it on the phone. Dr. Lindsey said Mom was in serious condition. That she thought we caught it early, and hoped that it could be turned around, that the cure was strong antibiotics and fast and furious IV fluids. So much fluid in fact, that heart failure was a possibility. The thought of losing my Mom was suddenly the only thought I had. I cried and prayed and went downstairs to tell Moni, call my brother and Jonathan. Then I cried and prayed some more.

We put on brave faces for Mom at the 4 and 6pm visits. At 9pm, she was sleeping so deeply that we let her be. I went to my house to sleep in my bed, very afraid I'd get a devastating call in the middle of the night. Thankfully, that call did not come. At the 10am visit the next morning, the nurse called Dr. Lindsey for me, and she happily told me that "Mom was out of the woods." They had been able to raise her blood pressure and were slowing down the IV fluids. She said she felt good about Mom's condition, and began talking about recovery. The sound of her voice was so different than it had been the day before. I was so grateful to God. In a brief moment of prayer earlier that morning, I told Him that I know He is sovereign, that His plans are superior to my own, but that I'd really like to keep my momma here. I know Kevin was praying the same, and many other prayers were lifted up for Mom as well. I can't pretend to know why God chose to heal Mom here on earth, as opposed to healing her at Home like He did for Dad. I'd be praising Him either way, but I am so grateful to have the chance to praise Him for life this time.

Mom was in the hospital for two weeks, four of those days spent in Intensive Care {with an amazing nurse - an angel among us for sure!}. Now that she's at home, I have learned to administer her antibiotic through a PICC line, which hopefully will be removed {and unnecessary} tomorrow afternoon. Thankfully, my aunt was scheduled to be here through August 17th and has changed her flight home to the 25th. Mom is slowly gaining some energy, but has quite a recovery in front of her. Of course, her biggest concern is me now that this baby is soon to be here. No, she won't likely be able to help out very much, but I don't care about that. I'm just thankful that she's here. And that I'll have the blessing of seeing her hold her 7th grandchild.

Ella and Mom at the 4th of July parade

"You go before me, You shield my way. Your hand upholds me, I know you love me." This line is from a song we learned recently. Thank God for going before us in this {and all} situations. And truly, it is His hand that upholds me daily... otherwise I know I'd have fallen long, long ago.


tamara said...

Gosh, I am so glad your mom is better and regaining her strength. I know you feared the worst when you were in the thick of it, and I prayed and prayed and prayed for her and you as well! Now you get rested up, too, for the big arrival! You remain in my prayers!

Erika said...

Oh Kristin, I can't even imagine how terrified you must have been. I had tears just reading your post. I'm so happy that your mom is doing better and starting the long recovery road. Even though you would praise Him either way, it is a bit easier (ok, a lot easier) to praise for life!

On another note, I am so excited to "meet" the new little Torode! (I almost wrote Cash. ha ha)

carrie said...

I am so thankful that she was healed. I know she has some recovery but I will continue to pray for strength and renewed energy and health. Isn't it amazing how our God can overcome anything if it is His will! Praising God He gave you more time with your momma!

Heidi said...

Kristin, what a well worded blog post. I knew some of what was going on but did not know all of the details until now. Your Mom, you, and your family have been in our thoughts and prayers through all of this. We continue to pray for you all daily. Let me know if there is anything we can do for you.

Rebecca said...

I keep typing something and then deleting it because it doesn't quite convey what I want to say.
I am so glad your mother is on the mend.