Wednesday, March 3, 2010

a quick update

Due to my fatigue, mad procrastination skills, and self-diagnosed ADD, I have not been much of a blogger lately. I am now 15 weeks, 2 days into this pregnancy and evidently {according to thebump.com} our little one is navel orange-sized. Here's what babycenter.com says about week 15:
Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces. She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.
Because of some shifting around of appointments, and thanks to my sweet doctor, our ultrasound will be earlier than we've had one before. He wanted me to wait 5 weeks between my last appointment and the next one so the babe will be a little bigger for an ultrasound at 18 weeks. When the receptionist made my appointment I smiled, and then almost cried, because it will be on the 4th anniversary of my dad's death. Lord willing, it will be a sweet way to spend that special day. God never ceases to amaze me with His perfect timing. He obviously delights the in handling our details.

So, we have 3 weeks to officially decide if we will find out this little one's gender. We always have, but we think it will be so exciting to wait on this one. I'm not sure if I'm that patient, but I think I'm willing to challenge myself. Everyone I've spoken to who has waited has been very encouraging to me and say that it is well worth the wait. As of our last discussion {last night} we plan to wait. Time will tell.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

peach fuzz

According to thebump.com, our littlest love is peach-sized these days. What their site says about week 13: "your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)"

Back when no one knew about this baby but us and God, I sent Jonathan an email about our then poppy seed-sized baby:

poppy seed officially counts as an em**** now. already. My, how time flies.

xoxo
{I wrote "em****" because I was trying to be secretive just in case anyone caught a glimpse of the email.}




Jonathan's reply made me almost panic:
It's a good thing you can't take it out and put it on the mantle or some other place in the house. That thing's tiny.
In this house, things are very frequently lost or misplaced. I forget my safe places, the places I think "oh, I'll remember I put it here." Nope. I never remember. I'm a little surprised we haven't lost one of our children. It's a good thing they're all pretty loud.

So, for a while the little one was lovingly called poppy seed and then sesame seed. A peach now? Fingerprints already? I'm already feeling this little peach bump around from time to time, and I'm loving every minute of it, especially as a distraction from the nausea.

In five weeks we'll have our ultrasound. I think this time, more than ever, it will be nerve-wracking for me to wait and hope and pray that all is ok. I can't explain why that is because my faith is stronger than during my earlier pregnancies. Maybe it's because I've learned to a fuller extent that God's ways are not my ways, but that they are always right and sovereign. Add to that that we are considering not finding out the baby's gender. Not sure if I'm that patient, but we are both very intrigued by the idea of not knowing until the birth. Time will tell if we actually do it. It's interesting how opinionated people are about us even considering it. If only they knew that may make us more prone to wait...

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

Friday, February 12, 2010

snow day




I stole this from a friend's facebook status {because I love it}:

For He says to the snow, "Fall to the earth" and the torrential rains, His mighty torrential rains serve as his signature to all mankind, so that all men may know His work.

I love that all we have to do to see God's glory is see His hand in creation.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ella is 3!

Ella at 2 months


That seems so absurd, really, that my little baby girl is 3 today. I'm a little upset about it honestly, but so grateful to have her in my life and excited to see her Father's will for her life unfold. So far, she is really gifted at bringing joy.

Her birthday celebration began on Saturday with a girls-only {much to Miles' chagrin} princess tea party. We enjoyed have 5 little princesses join us, along with their moms, two aunts and some other special moms. The girls watched a princess movie after their lunch while the moms, aunts, my mom and I enjoyed a nice, pretty much quiet, leisurely tea party of our own.

Today Ella, her boys {as she calls them}, and I had lunch with my mom and then headed to build-a-bear. Ella loved choosing her animal {a pink bear - no surprise there}. She chose the heart, kissed it, stepped on the stuffing pedal, and chose a Sleeping Beauty dress {and pink panties, of course}.
Tonight we had dinner with Jonathan's parents and then came home for our family presents and a birthday doughnut. Here she is wearing her Fancy Nancy dress {thanks Meme and Granddaddy!} and the princess gloves that Elijah wanted to give her.
I love these words from "Eliana's Song" by Watermark:
Baby woman, tiny in stature now
But your heart is a treasure
Little princess come follow behind me now
I am reaching for you

To mother a daughter, to look you in the eye
To know that I had everything, to walk with you in life
To give you to Jesus that He would impart
The wisdom that I'm longing for to mother your heart

There will be others to lead and to guide you girl
But only one you'll call Mother, the honor is all mine
To show you what a woman's like
I'm so glad you're mine

The tenderness of God is twirling around
In our living room tonight
Lighting up your daddy's eyes
And know that he just wants to freeze you in time
"The tenderness of God" is absolutely evident in our sweet little girl and I am forever thankful He chose to give her to us. Happy, happy birthday to my baby woman!

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Psalm 45:11

Friday, January 29, 2010

for my friend

I've had such a heavy heart for my friend since last week. Wanting to say something while not having a single word that could possibly make her hurt ease up. She was due to have a little one just after ours is due, but her sweet baby slipped away and, in the words of my friend's mom on facebook, their little heartbeat went to Heaven. Know that I've been praying for you, my friend. This song makes me think of you and makes me so very grateful for the "sweeter song that calls" us Home.

You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews

I searched for love
When the night came and it closed in
I was alone
but you found me where I was hiding
and now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name
saying

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

You cry yourself to sleep
cause the hurt is real
and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost
With heartache your closest friend
and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own
but there is a sweeter song that calls you home
saying

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every tear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest nights
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All your life

Faithful and true... Forever
For my love will carry you....

You're not alone
for I... I am here
let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through your darkest night
Your darkest night
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Jeremiah 31:14

says "My people will be satisfied with My goodness, says the Lord." {Amplified}

This scripture was brought to my attention recently by my friend, Jon, who makes a habit of regularly pointing out Words that I come to love. There's a long, long list of favorite scriptures. Sometimes I have no idea where to stop underlining in my Bible. Oh, yes, I'm an underlining girl.

I love this one for several reasons. First of all, it seems to me to be a promise. I love clinging to God's promises. There are many. Of course, life will be easy is not one of them. Neither is you'll always get your way. Neither is our happiness, but joy on the other hand, His joy is promised to be our strength {Nehemiah 8:10}. It's a bit like being little again, waiting for that really great thing that you actually can't wait for, but have to. I've learned that some, and perhaps many, of God's promises will be fulfilled when we are with Him. And talk about a promise! With Him. I really can't wait for that one. Back to this one, it seems like assurance to me. I know this is hard, My daughter, but you will be satisfied with My goodness. You will. Maybe not today or tomorrow. It may take a while, but it will happen. You will see that I have done great things!

During the past four years I have learned many things the hard way: God's ways are not my ways. I won't always know why. Life is hard, and we must hold on to Him if we expect to make it through. He gives and takes away. You will have to hear certain things you hope to never hear like it's malignant, it's serious, it's bad, it's not enough, it's back, it's over. And sometimes you have to say things you don't want to say like goodbye, he's gone, she died, I can't, I won't, I'll never make it, how can I.

But there are so many Truths to cling to:
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. {Colossians 1:17}

Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. {Nehemiah 8:10}

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. {Psalm 30:11}

For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth. {Psalm 33:4-5}

The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. From his throne he observes
all who live on the earth. He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. {Psalm 33:13-15}

We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. {Psalm 33:20-21}

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms.
Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death. {Psalm 68:19-20}

Can you tell I've been loving Psalm 33 lately? Look at that last one again: for each day He carries us in His arms. I'm so blown away by that. And so grateful to be His girl.

You may wonder if there is a point to all this. There is, and I'm getting there. Sit tight a little bit more. All who believe will receive of God's goodness, and ultimately will be satisfied. I'm sure He, like any parent, would love for us to "quit whining and be grateful" {as my kids often hear} sooner rather than later. I'm trying for Him. I have many days when I fail, but I usually just have a big talk with Him in those times. I like to get it all out. A couple of things I've received are just such obvious gifts, and both after deep loss.

Almost four years ago, I said good bye to my dad. I miss him every single day. Just about three years ago, God gave us Ella. Last year was a very hard year for us financially, while adjusting to homeschooling, and my aunt went Home to be with my dad. The day after her funeral, God answered a question we'd had. We felt Him putting a certain desire on our hearts for several months. It made no sense. It honestly seemed crazy with the year we were having. But it became stronger still, and we knew He wanted us to trust Him. So... He lifted us up in due time {1 Peter 5:6}... and is giving us something after taking away...






and I am filled...










with a good thing He has given us...









"...and My people will be filled with the good things I give them!" says the Lord. {Jeremiah 31:14 New Century Version}

Thursday, December 24, 2009

happy times...

really did happen around here this month. And although I am saddened for those of us left behind, I am rejoicing for my aunt, my dad and many other loved ones who will celebrate Christmas with the Holy One.

We went to a Christmas parade early in the month that my nephew was in with his cub scout troop. Unfortunately I didn't get a single unfuzzy picture of him, but we sure had fun while we watched and waited. The kids collected more candy than at halloween.



We also celebrated Elijah's 7th birthday. We had his first sleep over. We had pizza, popcorn and cake {of course}! Elijah and I had a date during the day on his birthday {Burger and strolling at Eastchase by his request}. Here's a cool picture he took:
Miles "helped" me make the cake. And helped me lick the bowl! Yummy!
The cake was decorated to Elijah's specifications.
I can hardly believe he's seven.
Then, just last week, Miles and Ella had their preschool Christmas pageant. Here's Miles with his beloved Miss Sally {I want to hire her at our homeschool!} dressed as a handsome shepherd. He even sang the songs, because he'll do anything for Miss Sally!
Ella on the other hand, loves the spot light. She was too cute on stage with her little friends. It was so precious to hear them sing:

Bells are ringing, Children singing
Christmas is here! Christmas is here!
Happy birthday Jesus! Happy birthday Jesus!
We love you! We love you!

And then to awake the next day to her singing that.

And this last one is here just because I love it. It was taken at Thanksgiving. After the tough year that we've had {with this economy and losing my aunt}, I am amazed and grateful that God gave this wonderful man to me to walk beside. God has brought us through so much, has taught us new lessons, has strengthened our faith, has brought us nearer to Him while promising to never let us go. We are in awe of His great love for us.Read from Romans 8:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whok]"> have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. {28-29}

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? {31-32}

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,m]">neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. {37-39}

We wish all of you a very merry Christmas! "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13