she's been here 9 months...

and it strikes me like it has with each little before her, she's been outside of me now as long as she was growing on the inside. How does this keep happening? My babies keep growing up while I turn away for a moment, or blink. Faster and faster. It's true what they used to say, the older you get, the more quickly time passes by. The eight year-old me didn't believe it. Now I have an eight year-old. And I want to hit pause or slow motion, something, anything, to slow down, to soak up, to revel, to enjoy more.


I found this on a new {to me} blog a little while ago, and it both mad me a little sad and gave me comfort. What a wonderful gift this is, this mothering. This baby girl. Her big sister. Their big brothers. Gifts, each of them in their own way. A privilege, a present, to have them, hold them, teach them, grow them, pray them.

But this I do know. Motherhood grows from the inside out. Motherhood means we stretch with new life, whether or not we deliver a baby. We sustain. We ache. We carry. We care. We hold. We cherish. And we release.

Then we wear the marks of that gift for a lifetime. And it is beautiful.

                                                                             from The Gypsy Mama.

And we release. Over and over again, we release. All too soon, I'll release this {last} first year. Around the same time I'll re-release my first little love back to the school room, and release Miles into one as well. It's what we do, yes? This letting go. But through each release and in between, during the having, holding, teaching, growing, praying, we have strong Arms holding us as well. To remind us where our help comes from:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.  ³ He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.
 ⁵ The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
   nor the moon by night.
 ⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
   he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore.
{Psalm 121}

Milla Jean,

Nine months! Can it be? You are certainly bringing more and more love out of us- each one of us is fairly head-over-heels for you {which says a lot for your little big brother}! You are changing, my love, and even though it breaks my heart a little it also makes my spirit soar- just what does your Father hold for your future? Such a sweet little thing he created in you, I just can't wait to know your soul even more. The glimpses I have now have me just smitten, joyful.

You can stand on your own two feet when forced {thanks again to sweet Miss Ashley for helping you realize that standing is actually a thing}. You don't love it yet, but we are practicing a little each day. You pulled up on your knees in your crib just now, so we'll get there! You are really enjoying some finger foods now: puffs, cheerios, mum mums, a little chicken and beef here and there. I think we've finally {hopefully} seen the last of that overbearing gag reflex!

You are momma's girl, although Daddy comes in a very close second. You've done a bang up job of making him adore you. It's been so special to have him working from home during your littlest time, a blessing for both of you {and me!}.

Just the other day you had your nine month old check-up. You didn't mind the finger prick, although it annoyed you when she kept hold of that finger for too long of a bit. The shots, though? Well, they got all over you. And I have precious {though pitiful} proof:

"This crinkly paper is fun. This band-aid is annoying. Those shots were just mean."

You weighed 18 pounds, 13 ounces{45th %ile} and were 28 inches long{70th %ile}. Baby girl, you are way ahead of the game with head circumference at 18 inches{90th %ile}! My beautiful bobble head. ;)

I'm fairly certain you recently said the uh part of "uh-oh!" and you've just learned to clap, which you think is so very wonderful. So do I. You love to play on the floor, and are so good at entertaining yourself. You are just starting to attempt a little forward movement commando style. I am just so thoroughly enjoying your babyness, since I know it will continue to fly by. I'm not in a hurry for the next milestone. Now that I know for sure your lack of bearing weight skills isn't because you can't, but you just don't want to, I can really relax {while still encouraging new skills} and just see what happens when.

I love you my sweet girl. Forever and ever.
momma