Tuesday, March 23, 2010

it might be hope

So, it's been four years today since I had to let my dad go back to God. My heart is heavy as I look back over those words. But to soften the sadness, God's perfect timing set my ultrasound appointment for today. That can't be random timing. No chance. And yesterday God set on the heart of a sweet friend to pray for me regarding dad - and she had no idea that today made it four years. He cares about the details of my life and the hurts of my heart. And, once again, He's made me love Him more!

Here is the sweet little face we gazed upon today. Meet Poppa's {and Gammie's!} 7th grandchild:

{Oh, and this one will make a mere 13th grandchild for Granddaddy and MeMe!}

And we stayed strong. That's right, we have absolutely no clue if this is a boy or a girl. We decided on an old-fashioned surprise and are very excited about the anticipation that will keep building. The kids chose the following name suggestions tonight:

Elijah: Angeline or Thomas
Miles: Sandy {as in Sandy Squirrel} or Kill or Buster
Ella: Lily {she would not even consider a boy's name}

I've had a Sara Groves song running through my mind all day called It Might be Hope. I'll never stop missing my dad, and although the hurt doesn't hurt and suffocate like it used to, it still weaves it's way in and out of my every day. But there is always hope. Always. And today it was in a dark, quiet room, looking at our sweet, sweet baby.

You do your work the best that you can
you put one foot in front of the other
life comes in waves and makes it's demands
you hold on as well as your able
Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:5

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him..." Romans 15:13

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5


A Skin Bag for Jesus! said...

Beautiful, sweet friend!! And I love your dad... just because of you and your love for him even though I wasn't privileged enough to know him myself. How precious to carry such a sweet missing memory still! What a gift! What a treasure! There are so many people in this world that don't have that. I am thankful that you do!

And what priceless pics of a little something that's growing, being knit by the Creator Himself inside your womb! I love the names that your children came up with. Aren't they one of the funnest things ever!

I love you, girl! You were so in my prayers today!

Anna said...

what a precious blessing of God's perfect timing! we are so excited for your family. love the names...all of them! dont let anyone give you a hard time about not finding out. you have boy stuff. you have girl stuff. and you have wonderful friends who will fill in any gaps! praying for all 6 of you!

tamara said...

Well, if it's a girl and you don't name it Sandy Squirrel, I'll be devastated!! :) So glad you had a joyous day despite the sorrow it carries in your heart!

Meme said...

Well---that was such a sweet blog---so tender and touching---and THEN I got to Miles's name choices! I just lost it! I suppose God knew I needed a really good laugh! Sandy Squirrel has a definite ring to it, but so did "Shiney Don!" Leave it to Milesy to bring us a good laugh. God is working through that boy! I don't know HOW, but I'm sure he is!! Love, Meme

Monique and Granny said...

I found your blog today. I enjoy teaching Miles in Bible Class so much.
Congratulations on the baby!!
Monique Demas