Don't let your love grow cold...

Song for my sons
Sara Groves

• this is a song for my sons for when they understand it
• you know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
• your dad and i prayed for strength and understanding
• for things we couldn't see or comprehend
• this is a song from my heart a small refrain to hold you
• for times when we're apart and i cannot console you
• i can't say your life will always go like it should
• but i can say that god is always good
• and when the cold wind blows like i know it will
• and when you feel alone like i know you will
• and when the cold wind blows like i know it will
• don't let your love grow
• don't let your love grow
• don't let your love grow cold
• this is a song for my sons for when they understand it
• you know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
• your dad and i prayed for strength and understanding
• for things we couldn't see or comprehend
• this a song for you, to carry in your pocket
• take all our love with you in all the paths you walk in
• be honest with yourself and don't forget to pray
• and read your bible everyday
• and when the cold wind blows like i know it will
• and when you feel alone like i know you will
• and when the cold wind blows like i know it will
• chorus 2x
• this is a song for my sons for when they understand it
• you know how life is full, you know we couldn't plan it
• your dad and i pray for your strength and understanding
• the things you can not see or comprehend

This is yet another of Sara's songs that holds such strong meaning for me. She wrote this before her daughter was born but included her in the dedication when the album was released. This song so accurately describes the way we mommas especially want to just protect our children from everything and everyone. It's so easy for the momma bear in me to come out. It would behoove EVERYONE to not mess with my babies. Am I alone in this, girls? I think not. I am really struggling with the thought of sending Elijah to kindergarten in the fall. Waiting to hear where he gets in is hard. Making the decision, if there is one to make, will be hard. Taking him to wherever that is some morning in August and leaving him there for several hours will be harder still. Who will watch over him? Who will know if he's scared or worried or lonely? Who will remind him to wash his hands? Who will prompt him to finish his work? Who will know when someone is mean to him? Who will know if he's been mean to someone? I will no longer know all the little details of his every day. But he is ready. He is more than ready and I must prepare myself to let him go. To kindergarten and then all the other times I'll have to let him go. And so it will be with Miles and Ella as well. All I can do is hold them while I can, teach them what I can, and pray, pray, pray. So I will do these things and hope with all that is in me that they'll never let their love grow cold. That Love will fill them up and surround them. People will mistreat them. No one will love them like I do. Not everyone will think they are cute, or funny, or just a smidgen from perfect. Bad things will happen. They will feel alone. They will be unsure. They will wonder why. In these times I want them to hear a whisper that says "don't give up, continue in Love, I am here..." I also hear my dad speak to me in this song knowing that even now he prays for me to have "strength and understanding for things we cannot see or comprehend." I can only imagine how he felt knowing he was leaving us behind. He told my brother that he had taught us all that he could. Little did he know that his words and hopes and love would continue teaching, encouraging and stretching us. By this I know that my words, prayers and hopes can inspire my children throughout their lives - when they are in the kindergarten class and not at home with me, when they are away at college and not at home with me, when they marry and have their own homes and are not at home with me, and when I have gone on and they remain and are not yet Home with me. So I will teach them to love and hold tight to the One who is Love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

a little bit of craftiness

I am so excited to share this so cute, so crafty idea with you. I've been buying (and loving) iron-on patches from a super cute etsy shop, tadpole creations. I recently bought this adorable chocolate bunny, and cannot wait for it to come in so I can make Ella a sweet little bunny shirt. I like to use infant lap t-shirts for these patches and I ordered a pink one for this patch. Isn't she cute? I'll post a picture of little bean wearing it soon.

I decided to investigate making my own iron-on patches, because how hard could it be for a girl who knows how to cut, iron and sew? So after googling, I found that it is very easy with this great, free tutorial on a sweet little blog called peptogirl.blogspot.com.

Peptogirl loves all things pink and sprinkled, she says, and who among us girly girls doesn't? From her blog I found a few other great, idea-inspiring blogs that I just can't yet divulge, because my lucky March birthday girlfriends will be receiving very cute gifts I found on these sites. Curious, girls? I will post about these secret blogs at a later time...

Enjoy getting crafty, girls - well, at least Anita and Gina...

potty words

This is a conversation that took place this afternoon between Jonathan and Elijah:

• E: I know a lot of potty words Dad.
• 
  
• J: Oh, yeah? What are they?
• 
  
• E: There's the one that's poop, there's one that's pee pee, there's one that's toot and there's bathroom sink.

I just need to know who has been talking about bathroom sinks around my child. You think you've done a good job sheltering them from certain language and then they start talking about the sinks.

little eleanor

God has given my wonderful friend Anita an amazing talent for photography. He also put inside her a love for my children. We worked yesterday and today with a not-so-cooperative little Eleanor to take her one year pictures. Of course, they are perfect - thank you Anita! If you are curious you can check them out here and here. And check out Anita's photography blog here.

the Adventure

This is a song by Angels and Airwaves that Kevin emailed to me. He says it helps him to think of this song and the images from the video and about the beauty surrounding our dad now. I saw an interview with Don Piper, the guy who wrote 90 minutes in Heaven. He spoke of the beautiful sights, and of how the music is something you become a part of, and of the wonderful, indescribable smell. Then the guy who wrote A Purpose Driven Life spoke about how in the grand scheme of things, this life is so short, like preschool preparation for the real thing - the next life. That description really struck a chord with me as that is where we are with Elijah - on the edge of that preschool to kindergarten transition. Is that how God sees us as his children? On the edge of that earth to heaven transition? Almost ready for Real Life? This song speaks to that idea in the line "...here we go, life's waiting to begin..." and what a beautiful idea. What a beautiful truth.
The Adventure Lyrics

Remembering

the first Valentine's Day we shared together. We weren't even actually dating yet, because Jonathan would still not ask me out on an official date. But his mom got me in on a little surprise birthday party planning for his birthday, which falls on February 14th. Several of our friends were there and we watched a movie and ate and had a good time. At the end, my brother came to pick up my friend and me. Jonathan called me to the kitchen and gave me a vase with roses in it along with a very sweet hug. Oh, hallelujah and the angels sang out loud! because I had been waiting for the moment when I could actually believe that he liked me back. He was so cautious with our relationship up to that point that I almost gave up on it. Thankfully, I did not give up, and here we are fifteen years and three kids later. So, happy birthday and Valentine's day, my love. I'm glad you finally decided to get with the program way back when. I love you.

And to the rest of you from all of us...

A Dream

I just found this song called A Dream by Priscilla Ahn and love it...had to share. I'm probably behind and all of you have heard it before. It is so ethereal sounding and speaks of a life well-lived, and eventually over ending at the moment of flying home. It speaks to that place in me that God left empty on purpose so I'd long for Him and Home. That place that aches. And as much as I miss my dad, I must say it is an amazing feeling to know that I have two fathers waiting at Home for me.

• I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
• I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.
• I had a dream
• That I could fly from the highest swing.
• I had a dream.
• Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
• The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.
• I had a dream
• That I could fly from the highest tree.
• I had a dream.
• Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
• I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.
• I had a dream

God wanted her to buy the second book...

in a series of three, even though she had not yet read the first book. Strange? I thought so, too, when Mom told me about the book she was reading. "But why did you buy the second one first?" I asked. She said it just looked more interesting for some reason. Now, this is not completely out of character for my mom, who has been known to read the last page of a book to decide whether or not to read the whole thing. But starting a series of three with the second book? But she said after getting it home and reading for a while, she felt like somebody urged her to read this one. A portion of the book says this...

"I'm of the mind, ma'am, that those who go on 'afore us can look back and see what's happenin' to their loved ones here. I've been told I'm wrong, that those in the hereafter aren't bothered with the goings on of now. But I've always been partial to the notion that they're gathered together, cheerin' us on somehow when we've fallen or had a hard time of it. And if that's so, I figure that's exactly what your husband's doin' right now, ma'am. He's cheerin' you on."

It is so amazing when these coincidental things occur, because they can't truly be coincidental. Mom had especially been missing Dad over the weekend and found this book on Monday. It's as if it were speaking right to her personally. Someone was. God is so faithful.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

part of the song Cloud of Witnesses by Mark Schultz

A cloud of witnesses

That would see them through the years

Cheer them with a smile

And pray them through the tears

A cloud of witnesses that would see them to the end,

And shower them with love that never ends

A cloud of witnesses.

"Do you untie knots?"

I was reading in Max Lucado's Next Door Savior today and came across an idea I just can't get out of my head. He related a story about a friend of his who was sitting on a park bench, as he did every morning for a few minutes. Nearby a group of children gathered at the bus stop...

he noticed a little fellow, maybe five or six years of age, struggling to board the bus. While others were climbing on, he was leaning down, frantically trying to disentangle a knotted shoestring. He grew more anxious by the moment, frantic eyes darting back and forth between the shoe and the ride.

All of a sudden it was too late. The door closed.

The boy fell back on his haunches and sighed. That's when he saw Roy. With tear-filled eyes he looked at the man on the bench and asked, "Do you untie knots?"

Jesus loves that request.

I love this simple story that speaks to how we all mess up. We then try frantically to handle things on our own. As time ticks away we become more and more anxious, all the while causing a bigger problem, digging a bigger hole, or creating a bigger, more tangled knot. We finally give up, sometimes only because we are forced to. With heavy hearts and tears in our eyes we can go to Jesus with a simple question. Do you untie knots? Lord, look what I've done, can you fix it? I lost my patience with these boys today, God. Will you help? Father, I don't have the words to pray, you know what they should be. I don't know the words to comfort her, will you put those words in my mouth? God, I'm sad and can't climb out of it, can you give me a lift? Oh, Lord, I am overwhelmed by this task, can you give me peace? The list could go on and on. The answer is always the same. Yes. But we must ask him, and he waits to hear and help. Jesus, do you untie knots?

5 year old pictures - better late than never...

I've been needing to take Eli's 5 year pictures for two months now and just got to it last week. I think they could use a bit more tweaking, but I'm pretty happy with them. (Anita may disagree.)
I'm actually glad I put it off (and off, and off) so that his hair could be longer. He loves his hair like this and I am starting to. Sorry, Uncle Kevin, but I think the hair is here to stay for a while.

Ella's Birthday

We had a wonderful day with Ella, our family and a few close friends, as Ella celebrated turning one at 10:01 this morning! We had a fun, flowery party. As you can see, she did not disappoint with her cake. Uncle Kevin called from Michigan to sing happy birthday and Ella leaned in to the phone very sweetly. It was a sweet day to celebrate a very sweet year with our littlest love.