Monday, March 23, 2009

Oh, baby, this is nothing new...

is what Dad said to me the last time I cried on him. It was the night we brought him home for hospice care. You can read about it back in October 2007, if you'd like. It's also what I've been hearing him say to me today, only this time it's true. He's been gone three years today, so it isn't anything new anymore. It still hurts, but with time comes a different understanding and more and more acceptance. My sweet friend Allison sent me this scripture earlier today:

"to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."
Isaiah 61:3

I absolutely believe and have seen that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) During Beth Moore's Esther study, she spoke about this verse and emphasized the word work. That God will work for the good, and it will at times be really hard work. Hard to endure, hard to be a part of, maybe even hard for God to put on us, but with our kingdom purpose in mind. I love that there is always something bigger going on than what I can see.

Soon after Dad died I just happened upon the group Watermark. Know I know it was not a coincidence at all, because so many of their songs have come to mean so much to me. Like this one called Mended:

You repair all that we have torn apart and
You unveil a new beginning in our hearts and
We stand grateful for all that has been left behind and
All that goes before us

You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to you
(to you, oh Lord, to you)

We will dance as you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears and
We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us

Lord, you mend the breech
And you break every fetter
You give us your best, when what we thought was better
And you are to be praised
You are to be praised

I am absolutely "grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us." It's not always easy to be, but I am, because I "know and rely on the love God has for us." (1 John 4:16)


Amanda G. said...

Love you Kristin!

You know how Wes loves Beth Moore? Well Kristy Knockels is right up there too. He might have married her if she had been available. ;)

I hope that your week is just what it needs to be and that you keep relying on Him to bring you through. You are a great example to me in that faith.

carrie said...

I have been thinking alot about you and your family. Your strength is an encouragement to me! Praying for continued growth and understanding as you reflect on your dad.