what are you waiting for?

It always seems like I am waiting for something. Nap time, bed time, tomorrow, the weekend, spring break, summer break. Time alone, time with my kids, time with just my husband. Time to sew, time to read, time to spend just with God. A time when I will be able to keep my house clean. The next paycheck. A greater need for architects. A better paycheck. A time when we will be able to do more and give more. For people to understand. For the kids to do this or that. For God to do this or that.

Recently, we had a financial situation that we had to wait on. For three weeks we waited. Mostly, I felt peace. I prayed for a remedy to the situation, but mainly for peace during it. God so provided that peace to both of us. We know he is using this time to do a work in us. Now, I can't say I didn't ever feel afraid during those three weeks. At times I felt very afraid. I became impatient. I kept reminding myself that God's timing is different than my own. And then, as part of our Beth Moore Esther study, I discovered a wonderful truth. Now, first of all, it is not coincidence that so many times during this study I have received a specific Word that I needed that very week. God is so good!

What I found out during the time of waiting is this: while we wait for something, God is also waiting with us...

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18 (emphasis mine)

Beth explained that the words "longs" and "wait" in this verse were the exact same word as each other in the Hebrew language. She said that God waits, too, and he longs to give us what we need. It's not a wait without the longing. Without the longing, it would just be passing time. That means that there is a reason for the waiting. I loved hearing this because during those weeks I kept feeling that there was something bigger than what I could see going on. I felt God working on me. On us. A few days ago I thanked God for those weeks of waiting and for being right there, waiting with us. I know that in this precarious economic situation, there is more waiting to come. But I also know that we are learning some things about stewardship that we've been seriously lacking. And about trust. About faith. About wants vs. needs. About what is truly important. About faith. About what God wants from me. He just wants me, by the way. For me to love and believe him. And wait on him.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

I only recently found out that The Serenity Prayer went on past "and wisdom to know the difference." I just love it. God is not overly interested in our happiness here on earth, but in how we live our lives. He knows that one day we will be happier than we can imagine. Hard times build strength. They bring us to our knees. They bring us to the Father. He longs to help us and loves for us to rely on him. My desire is that I will seek him just as much in the good times as I do in the bad. I just love that he wants to be with me.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. Psalm 62:5

So, what am I really waiting on? That little nagging feeling I get from time to time that I just don't belong here... is there because I don't. You don't either. We weren't created for this world. I am really waiting for Home. I am smiling at the thought of it!